Pope Not Catholic!

Pope Benedict XVI Announces Split with Church

In a shock announcement today, the Pope has announced that he is no longer a practicing Catholic. Instead, he has announced that he wishes to follow a Tibetan Buddhist path.

"Catholicism was right for me at the time" said the Pope, "but now I find my beliefs are more in accord with the Tibetan Buddhist tradition."

"Also, I have a soft spot for maroon" he said.

The Pope is to begin intensive training shortly as a novice monk at the Kung Fu Monastery in Dharamsala, India, under the tutelage of Lama Latsung Getzu.

The Popes replacement at the Vatican has yet to be announced.

Bombs Save Lives!

Shock finding in latest study!

A recent study conducted by scientists at the Royal Academy of Mooseville has shown that using bombs on people can actually save lives.

A spokesman for the research team said the study proves that by killing people today there are less people to kill tomorrow, thereby saving lives.

A source at the Mooseville Bureau of War said that his people had known this all along. "The only way to save lives is to kill people" said General J. O'Brien-Taylor. "This is obvious to any rational person", he concluded.

A spokesman from the Save the Whale party said that the studies findings should be treated with caution. "The jury is still out on whether bombing people actually saves lives" said Jethro Rollings. He suggested that the study was flawed in that it was not a true double-blind experiment. "Some of those who were bombed may have known it was coming" he said. Rollings also said that the fact that the study was funded by the Bureau of War could lead to claims of bias.

Countering Rollings claims, Kaylie Mead, media spokesperson for the Royal Academy of Mooseville, said that university policy ruled out bias in studies unless a car was thrown in with the deal.

Rock Band Starts Religion!

Linkin Park Lift Roof, Praise God!

A new religion was born today at a concert given by US rock band Linkin Park.

While performing their hit song "In the End" one impressionable soul was so moved that he went out and wrote a new religious treatise to capture the beauty of the moment.

The new movement is currently without a name and has as its holy site, Fillmore Stadium, New Jersey.

Twin Towers Reappear!

Farmer Sights Twin Towers in Iowa Cornfield

On Tuesday 12th October 2001 an amazing thing happened to farmer Ted Mead. Ted had just left his homestead for a twilight stroll to check on the progress of his corn when he was confronted by an amazing sight.

"I thought I must have fallen into a dream" said Ted.

"Those babies were huge!"

"I was in tears at the beauty of them", he said.

"So pure, so magnificent!".

"And they spoke to me".

" 'We love you' they said".

"I had never seen anything so beautiful, so pure, so true!" said Ted.

"I thanked them for appearing to me"

"It was then I realised the gift they had given us"

"'Love each other as we have loved you', was their message."

"'Do not blame anyone for our demise. Instead, live in peace respecting All.'"

"'Take this message to the world.' they said."

"It was then I made a silent pact with the Towers to share what I had learned that wonderful evening with all mankind!"

Jane Roberts' Message

Jane Roberts, much beloved author of the Seth books, has returned once again, to share a brief word of encouragement to "her people"- the people of goodwill and kindness:

"The message at this time is to stay on course, remembering love is at the heart of EVERY soul, even those you despise or fear!"

"Please don't get angry about any of the things you see on the daily news. Instead, spread good cheer through your daily activities, get plenty of rest and look forward to a brighter future!"

Jane.